


It is enough

by gemstonedragons



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Character Death, Mentioned other characters - Freeform, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 06:05:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11708355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemstonedragons/pseuds/gemstonedragons
Summary: Jowan is her first love. Her first love, but not her lover. No, she's smarter than that.





	It is enough

Jowan is her first love. Her first love, but not her lover. No, she's smarter than that. Wynne’s quiet words in the library are enough to ensure that she never wavers.  
Amell is her second love--but the girl was playing the long game with the templars, and Neria knew better than to interfere with the groundwork of her beloved’s potential alliance. She wonders what could have been, though.

And then there’s Lily. The chantry girl is sweet, in a very chantry sort of way. (Neria can't help but dislike her. Because Jowan is her fuck up. No matter what promises he makes to the fool in the sunburst robes.)  
Surana’s Harrowing is the cleanest in a long time, they say. She can only think of Mouse’s betrayed face, and is glad that she’d passed. Jowan congratulates her, pulls her into a bear hug, and neither of them voice the fear of being left behind.  
Amell has been missing for two days, and even her templar boy wasn't sure where she'd gone.  
Amell stumbles into the library just hours after Neria wakes, and she's passed her Harrowing, but there’s no sign of Jowan even making it to his own. Rumors of blood magic and his chances of becoming tranquil. But he's not a blood mage. He swears it. And Neria believes him. Amell believes him. Jowan was never able to lie to the combined power of their stares.  
They agree to help him with his plan, no matter how bitter Neria is.  
The fool of a girl follows them down into the basement, bothered by the Seer’s statue, by the phylacteries, the blighted staff Neria takes. (Amell’s is kept in Kirkwall, and Neria’s has been sent to Denerim already. The pair watches, jealously, as Jowan smashes his phylactery.)  
The thieving is a reminder of her childhood days. She’s from Denerim, the alienage if the Grand Enchanter is to be believed. Neria’s only memory of it is hunger and shock when fire pools in her hands.  
It's more than Amell, who'd been taken from her family in the free marches. She only remembers the disproving voice of her grandfather.  
They are caught the moment they step out, and the stupid girl doesn't help. Amell steps in front, protesting. _My fault,_ she claims. Her templar boy is there in the hall, and Neria hopes he's in love enough with Amell to save the twig of girl. He's not.  
But Jowan is a blood mage and the splattered stain on the hem of her robes proves it before Neria thinks to ask. And then he is gone and Lily is sentenced to the Mage’s Prison and Amell is dead from a faceless templar’s sword through her chest. Neria is saved.  
(Amell’s templar boy stares wide eyed at the body on the ground. Neria wonders if he's ever seen someone killed before. She has.)  
The grey warden conscripts her, and Neria agrees because it will get her out of here.  
It will get her away from Amell’s prone body and the boy's shocked face.  
.  
.  
Jowan is in redcliffe. Jowan is in a cell under the castle, and his magic is still terrible. He falls into her arms, sobbing. The witch of the Wilds and the ex-templar trade glances while Leliana sighs dreamily.  
Neria barely stops herself from kissing him.  
The boy survives, his mother dies, Jowan flees, because she tells him to.  
He sobs when she tells him that _no, Amell isn't tranquil-- she's dead._  
_Did she want it?-- Was it after they branded her?_ He asks, hands shaking so badly that she marvels that he's still standing.  
_No._ She says. _They never gave her the sunburst. She died because of--_ (she doesn’t say you, because its as much Neria’s fault as it is Jowan’s.)  
\-- _The templars got to her first. They killed her before the Warden invoked the rite of conscription._  
_And Lily?_ He asks, traitorously.  
_Alive. Imprisoned_  
.

Zevran pretends to never be less than capable. if he isn't, he moves things to his advantage. but he doesn’t cheat. That is comforting, knowing that all Is fair.  
Neria thinks, perhaps that's what endeared her to Zevran. He’s not a mage. He's not consumed by fear. He's not Jowan.  
He's not human. He's not so self sacrificing as to give up his mind for her. He's not Amell.  
He knows what it is to be cast out. He knows what it is to love freely. 

 

He's not Jowan. He's not Amell.  
He's Zevran, and that's enough for her.


End file.
